Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
