scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
