The maid of honor just puked.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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