Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
