why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
