sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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