she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
