The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
