let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
