She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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