lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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