well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
