She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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