her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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