I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dick very happy bro
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
