a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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