just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
