They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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