it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
