Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Terrible idea I love it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
