i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
