Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
