She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
