Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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