he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
