He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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