i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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