I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
