What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
