What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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