The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
