his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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