If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
