What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
