They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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