i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
