you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
