Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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