So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
