This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I need moral support for this bender
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
