The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
