so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
