I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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