i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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