I'm jealous of your bromance
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
