I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When are your genitals available?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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