my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
