okay pat passed out under dana's car
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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