It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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