I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
